demonicbeauty | Deer Country Inbox

She shook her head. Although she'd very much enjoyed what little schooling she'd gotten, scholarship had never exactly been Ariadne's area of expertise. She could count the stars and wish for wings, but that wasn't the same as understanding the night sky.

Fortunately, Sam was a lot smarter than she was. "If anyone can figure it out," she said, bolstered by confidence, "it'll be you. And maybe that nice librarian lady."

Ariadne didn't know Evelyn well. But they'd been stuck in a house together. That had a way of making you believe in someone.

She leaned against the trunk of the nectarine tree. "Have you...seen any actual deer?"

Evelyn wasn't a bad suggestion, actually. She was incredibly clever, had access to most written records...somehow, and could be a real tiger when presented with a mystery.

A real tiger in general, including between the sheets, but that was neither here nor there.

Sam made a mental note to check in with Evie later and shook his head no to the question.

"Not yet, but I'm betting they're around."

It gave him an idea, though.

"Makes you wonder if Julia was here all along. She was half Pthumerian. Maybe this was her home world, or at least her mother's."

"It's possible," she said. "But then again, I like to think that practically anything is possible."

It was Michael who'd pointed out to her that the magic of her orchard derived from Julia. And he'd had an almost haunted expression at the possibility that she was somehow still around. Vaguely, Ariadne wondered if it was awe or guilt. Or some combination of the two. It was always harder to judge someone's reactions on a little screen. She much preferred what was right in front of her, what she could see and touch and smell, as needed.

"I never liked the fact that everyone wanted to end her life," she said. "It just felt so...pointless, I guess. But we're survivors, Alastrians. And I like to believe that as long as you're alive, whatever sadness lives inside of you can somehow be healed. You can find a way to happiness."

Sam nodded a little bit, feigning sympathy. He knew he should feel for the girl but right now he just... didn't. He didn't feel anything, actually. At all. He was just compelled to try to carry on as he was before and that old Sam would have given a crap about Julia Sodder.

"Well. She was already dead. It would have been worse to keep her in limbo without peace, right? Where I come from that's how you get ghosts. The dangerous type who go on to kill people."

She ducked her head slightly. "I suppose." Truthfully, she didn't know much about ghosts, other than the kind that occasionally showed up in Deerington, and she was quite certain they were different from the kind that lurked in the sacred places back home in Valeria. "But I like to think that if we'd awakened her, she could have returned to some sort of life."

Call her optimistic.

"It may have all been for nothing, though." She gestured around, encompassing the whole of Trench and her trees, herself and Sam. "If she's here now, in one way or another." Ariadne shrugged. "Or maybe I'm just desperate to find some kind of meaning in all of this."

Sam was under the impression that Julia had been dead for quite some time but he didn't make a point to delve into it. Julia sodder was dead, end of story, and he didn't care either way.

But he considered Airy's words for a moment. Her plea for purpose. That, he understood just fine.

"Well. I guess all you can do is try to honor her memory by making the best of being here. This is our home now and I'm okay with that.. It's all thanks to her."

"Exactly!" She was so glad that he understood. A lot of other people gave her optimism a sideways look of scrutiny. But having someone see things her way was something of a relief. "We have to make the best of things. The alternative is just feeling useless and sad."

Two feelings that Ariadne absolutely abhorred.

"And we need time to take pleasure in the simple things." She patted Jane's trunk again. "Like fresh fruit. Or whisky. If you're Dean."

Sam snorted. He'd heard about that and figured Airy was probably scarred for life.

"Well, my brother is a simple man."

Was that a cheap shot? Yeah but who cares, it's funny.

"And it's pretty much a tool of the trade. Most hunters are high functioning alcoholics."

But skipping right on along without giving pause for her thoughts on the matter. It's something the old Sam would never had said aloud despite his own long standing concerns.

"Speaking of simple pleasures, did Dean ever show you how babies are made?"

The shift in topic didn't form a through-line in Ariadne's mind and she blinked in surprise, taking a second to catch up to him. "I have a working understanding of Human reproductive cycles," she said.

Some people were unusually prude about it. Ariadne had come to understand that certain matters were considered sacrosanct or private in humanoid society. And she did her best to obey whatever social mores were imposed.

But she figured she could be frank with Sam. He certainly didn't seem to be embarrassed, talking about it.

"I'm more curious about sex. Everyone seems to like it very much. And I realize that one can lead to the other, but not necessarily. And certainly not among Alastrians." Their males carried their young. And there weren't any male Alastrians left of childbearing age. At least, as far as she knew.

"Well," he mused, nodding as she'd spoken.

"I think it's fun. Good for your body, good for your mind. Doesn't have to mean anything it's just..fun."

As if he didn't come out here with the sole purpose of having this exact conversation. As if this wasn't premeditated in the slightest.

"There's only one way for you to find out," Sam said, his tone more suggestion that fact.

"It doesn't have to...mean anything?"

Ariadne gave him a puzzled look. Yes, most humanoids were terribly cagey and cryptic about sex. But she was fairly certain that it had...meaning. There were certain requirements involved. Compatibility. Attraction.

Trust.

"That's...not the way I've heard it," she admitted. "From the way courtiers talk, it has some substantial consequences. It usually means a lot."

"Modern times," he answered with a little shrug.

"Don't get me wrong, it can mean things. It can mean a lot, but you have the option to decide that for yourself."

Ariadne had a great deal of opinions about the word 'modern' and how utterly meaningless it was, both in the multiverse, and back home. It was one of those words like 'unique' or 'interesting.' One that language had somehow failed to weed out, over centuries of evolution.

She shook her head slightly, smiling in spite of the silliness. "And how do you and Miss Evelyn see it?" she asked.

He was being chatty. She supposed she could get away with asking such a personal question.

Oh.. wow yeah.. Evelyn. Of course she would have known about that, they were all staying together at the end.

Sam bit his top lip for a moment before shrugging again. Old Sam would have some concerns about this situation. Current Sam does not. He's not even entirely sure Evelyn is here.

"Just fun. She was great but she went home when the dream ended."

And that pricked something inside of Ariadne's mind. The last time she'd seen Dean, he'd casually made a few mentions of Evelyn. As Sam's girlfriend. In the present tense. In the town of Trench itself. And she was quite certain he'd been referring to this Sam, not the one that was stuck as a child. The one who'd saved her from the dinosaur.

Something was...wrong.

But what kind of wrong? Ariadne wasn't sure. It could be a trick, like the sort Deerington used to play on them. Or something with Sam himself. Either he genuinely didn't know that Evelyn was here. Or else he was lying. And Ariadne wasn't sure which it was, since she hadn't been listening to his pulse.

Regardless, she was pretty sure that the word 'girlfriend' implied more than 'just fun.' But she would have to confirm that.

Absently, she twisted the tip of her braid around her finger. "You must miss her," she said, this time paying more attention to the beating of his heart.

One hundred and fifteen beats a minute. An ideal resting heart rate for a man his age in excellent condition. Not a trace of sudden jump, deception or regret. He wasn't lying.

Or if he were, he would have to care so little that it wouldn't affect him in any way.

Ariadne was right, of course, there was Something Wrong With Sam, but what proof was there, he was approaching her romantically? Was that so far fetched?

He nodded again to the question. Well, more of a statement.

"I do. But I think she'll be happier where she came from. So it's for the best."

Not lying. Well, that was something of a relief. But he hadn't sought Evelyn out? Something about that felt wrong. It felt so very unlike the Sam she'd come to know. He was a paladin, after all. Him and the other Winchesters. They were constantly falling over backwards for the people they cared about.

And she didn't believe for a second that Evelyn was hiding from Sam.

Who would hide from that face?

"Sam, I..." She shrugged. "Sam, I'm not so sure she's gone."

"No?" Color him surprised.

"Huh."

Unfortunately that's all it took for him to see his chances dwindle.

"So I'm guessing that means we're not gonna.." He tailed off and gestured between them.

Ariadne blinked. Once. Twice. And then rapidly, drawing against the trunk of the nectarine tree in such surprise that she cracked the base of her skull against it. "Wait. What?"

It took another second for her thoughts to catch up with her.

"Do you mean to say that you were just..." She couldn't even finish the sentence. Soliciting her?

Christ, could she have recoiled in horror any harder? Sam tried not to cringe outwardly, but he sure was inside. You would have thought he'd just whipped his dick out or something.

"Right."

He had to laugh. It was thin and breathy and short but a laugh all the time, hand slightly out in defense.

"I think. Maybe I just got the wrong idea. You were asking. We're both single. I thought you might want to.."

She relaxed a little when he laughed. But only a little. The whole thing suddenly felt warped. Like a mirror that had bulged in some places, while caving into itself in others. Everything felt just a little...off.

And when she thought about it, it had been off since she first saw him, walking that funny walk.

Now, here they were. He had lost his mate. And was propositioning her with a casual air. Humans weren't Alastrians. She understood that. They didn't mate for life and they weren't as psychologically linked to their mates. But she knew Sam. And she knew how very little time had passed. And how serious and thoughtful he was. The boy with the saddest eyes in all of Deerington.

It just wasn't...him.

She covered her uncertainty with a soft, gentle smile. "I understand now," she said. "When I said I wanted to learn about sex, you thought that meant by experiencing it?"

Ariadne was right on all accounts of course. Sam wasn't thrilled with the rejection, obviously, but there wasn't any need to be a dick about it.

Man. Talk about awkward.

"Well, yeah? Dean isn't single and usually.. that's how people learn this stuff."

She suspected that Dean was involved with...someone. If he wanted to discuss it, she supposed, he would. But that was besides the point.

Actually, sex was besides the point now.

All of her energy was directed at figuring out why Sam Winchester felt like someone else completely.

"I guess that makes sense," she said. "But I guess I should also explain that...Alastrians mate for life. And mating and sex aren't the same thing, of course. But I suppose I'm not the type to do something that, as you put it, 'means nothing.'"

"Ah. Right."

A beat.

"Yeah, no. I get that. I can respect that."

Well this went well.

Sam pressed his lips thin before gesturing with the basket of fruit. Mission critical, abort.

"Well I guess. I should probably get these back to Dean."

And maybe find a nice hole to jump into on his way.

A harder truth was that Ariadne did find Sam quite attractive. Dean had told her that finding someone pleasing to the eye was the first step to any sort of courtship ritual that might one day include sex. And Sam was beautiful. Especially his brassy, flowing hair.

But physical attraction couldn't quite overcome her sense of plain 'wrongness' over the whole situation.

Maybe it was just her. She would have to mull it over for a few days.

If nothing else, though, she wanted to make sure that she hadn't done irreparable harm to her friendship with Sam. If she was wrong. If it was just her being skittish. So she stepped forward and gave him another quick hug. "You're a very sweet man, Sam Winchester," she told him.

Even if he didn't seem all that sweet at the moment.

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